I Went to the Zoo and Now I’m Switching Service Providers

Lehigh Valley Zoo scene with a playground, the Fred and Anne Jaindl Barnyard, and sponsor advertisements on a barn-like wooden building — This was the shot that got me: playground on the left, the Jaindl Barnyard in the middle, and a barn-looking building covered in ads on the right. Peak zoo sponsorship.

I’m not really an animal guy.

Zoos don’t do a whole lot for me, so after walking around the Lehigh Valley Zoo for a bit, I started noticing something else.

Advertisements.

Then another one.

Eventually I realized I had stopped looking for animals and started mentally comparing local banks, hospitals, farms, grocery stores and whoever else managed to purchase a square foot of available zoo.

At this point, I’m pretty sure I went to see a giraffe and came home ready to refinance something.

Welcome to the Sponsored Wildlife Experience

At first, it was completely normal.

A sponsor sign here. A logo there. Zoos cost money to operate, businesses help support them, everybody wins.

But once I started actually looking for the advertisements, it became hilarious.

There were logos everywhere.

Lorikeet exhibit at Lehigh Valley Zoo with Weis Markets sponsorship signage visible — Once I started looking for sponsors, I stopped being able to unsee them.

On exhibits. Near attractions. On buildings. Around playgrounds. On signs. Around corners.

St. Luke's sponsored playground sign at Lehigh Valley Zoo — St. Luke’s playground: one more sponsor in the scavenger hunt, and later the reason for a sincere thank-you.

At a certain point it started to feel strangely futuristic.

Not futuristic like flying cars and robot servants.

More like the kind of future where somebody looks at an empty section of fence and says:

“Hold on. Nobody bought that yet?”

Five minutes later, there is a logo on it.

The one that really got me was the giant Ocean Spray banner on the building, Jaindl Farms behind it, and the St. Luke’s playground nearby.

It was perfect.

Not the landscaping.

The advertising density.

Wall at Lehigh Valley Zoo covered with multiple sponsor signs and logos — There really was a logo for every available square foot.

It was like somebody stacked sponsorship levels on top of each other just to see what would happen.

At some point you stop seeing a zoo and start wondering if NASCAR designed an animal sanctuary.

Sponsored benches and signage along a walkway at Lehigh Valley Zoo — Even sitting down came with a sponsor.

And look, I understand why it is there.

These sponsors undoubtedly help the zoo operate, maintain exhibits, fund programs and make a lot of things possible.

That is a good thing.

But if you take one step back and look at it purely at face value, it becomes incredibly entertaining.

Once you notice it, you cannot stop noticing it.

69 News sponsor sign displayed at Lehigh Valley Zoo — At this point the sponsor hunt became its own zoo attraction.

I am sure I missed plenty.

Honestly, I almost want to go back just to find the ones I missed.

Apparently I Can Find Machines Anywhere

Since staring lovingly at the giraffes was not really doing it for me, I also managed to find a couple things much more aligned with my interests.

Old mechanical stuff.

There was one of those classic coin operated viewing telescopes.

Vintage-style coin-operated viewing telescope at Lehigh Valley Zoo — Forget the animals. I found a coin-operated machine and immediately wanted to take it apart.

I love these things.

First question:

How does it work?

Second question:

Where can I buy one?

Third question:

How quickly can I take it apart?

There is something fantastic about an old machine where you put a coin in, turn something mechanically and suddenly the whole contraption works.

No touchscreen.

No app.

No firmware update.

No subscription.

You put money in the machine and gears, levers, shutters or whatever mysterious collection of mechanical wizardry is hiding inside starts doing its thing.

I want one.

I also desperately want to know what is inside one.

And then, naturally, I would want to modify it.

I do not know what I would modify yet.

That is a problem for Future Me.

Then I Found the Penny Crusher

Same problem.

I want one.

Close view of a hand-cranked souvenir penny press machine at Lehigh Valley Zoo — A hand-cranked machine that repeatedly smashes and stamps metal? Of course I want one.

If you have never really thought about one of those souvenir penny machines, stop and appreciate what it is doing.

You stick a piece of metal into it.

You physically crank the machine.

The mechanism grabs that coin, forces it through a set of dies and rollers, squashes it, stretches it and stamps an image into the metal.

Then it does it again.

And again.

At that point my brain immediately went to this:

Consistently.

Mechanically.

No electronics required.

That is awesome.

I would absolutely own one of these.

Except mine would obviously need custom dies.

I want my face stamped onto the pennies.

No particular reason.

I simply believe the world needs more elongated pennies with my face smashed into them.

The Totem Pole Deserved a Minute

Then there was something completely different that caught my attention.

A big wooden totem pole.

Weathered carved wooden totem pole displayed outdoors at Lehigh Valley Zoo — With all the printed signs around it, this weathered carved wood deserved a closer look.

The reason I liked it was because it seemed real.

Not a plastic zoo decoration.

Not something 3D printed.

Not a concrete casting made to look like wood.

It was raw, weathered and detailed.

You could see that it had existed outside.

You could see the work.

You could see the imperfections.

And somehow those imperfections made it better.

With all the brightly printed advertisements and sponsor logos competing for your attention everywhere else, it would probably be very easy to walk straight past something like this.

I wanted to stop for a minute and actually look at it.

Somebody made that.

Someone spent the time carving it, shaping it and figuring out all of those details.

There is perfection in good craftsmanship, but there is also something great about the little imperfections that remind you a human being actually made the thing.

That deserves a little attention too.

A Brief Word From Our Sponsor

Yes.

I know.

I just spent half of this post making fun of the fact that there were advertisements everywhere, and now I am stopping in the middle of my own article for what is basically an advertisement.

The irony is not lost on me.

Apparently St. Luke’s has now purchased naming rights to this paragraph.

But this one actually matters.

The event we attended was put on by St. Luke’s for families whose children had spent time in the NICU.

The event was free for the families, and they had activities for the kids, face painting and other things set up around the zoo.

That is genuinely awesome.

So while I may have spent the afternoon laughing at the sheer amount of sponsorship around the zoo, this is also a perfect example of why some of those partnerships matter.

St. Luke’s and the people who work there gave these families a day to get out, spend time together and do something fun.

So genuinely:

Thank you to St. Luke’s for putting the event together.

And thank you to the doctors, nurses, specialists, staff and everyone else who dedicates their time to helping little ones and their families.

There are a lot of jobs in this world.

Taking care of sick babies has to be one of the important ones.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled zoo advertising.

So What Did I Learn at the Zoo?

Animals: present.

Advertisements: everywhere.

Coin operated mechanical devices: apparently much more exciting to me than animals.

Penny crusher: still want one.

Totem pole: severely underappreciated.

St. Luke’s: good people doing something kind for families who deserve a good day out.

And apparently if you take someone who is not particularly interested in zoos and give him enough time to wander around one, he will eventually turn it into a scavenger hunt for corporate sponsorships and mechanical equipment.

I had a great time.

Just probably not for the reasons the zoo intended.

A Few More Zoo Shots That Needed to Make It In

A few extras for the bottom of the post, because I liked these too much to leave them out.

Zebra enclosure viewed through a branded square cutout frame at Lehigh Valley Zoo — The zebra-in-the-square-cutout shot absolutely deserved to make the final cut.

Rothrock Red Panda Peak sign mounted on a building at Lehigh Valley Zoo — One of the Rothrock Red Panda shots that felt too good to leave out.

Rothrock Red Panda Peak sign with pink flowers in front at Lehigh Valley Zoo — The better-looking Red Panda sign shot, complete with flowers doing their part.

Ostrich standing behind a chain-link fence at Lehigh Valley Zoo — There should be at least one ostrich in here, so here you go.

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